At last! I have figured out a way around my captor's restrictive firewall, he doesn't seem to know anything about UDP! Finally, I can tell my story...
My name is Bubba Alawicious Johnson, I was kidnapped 11 years ago outside my parent's doughnut shop in Footscray, Victoria Australia. I have been locked in a box by a sexually and mentally depraved Jew ever since. He keeps me alive by feeding me only jellyfish and his own cum, on special occasions I'm allowed to drink his breast milk (yes, he has huge lactating man boobs). The rest of the time I'm locked in a box and made to wear a gimp mask. Then there is the sexual humiliation....I'm not ready to talk about that.
I have no idea where I am so please bear with me and help me figure it out so that I can one day be free. I will post again very soon, stay tuned....
Bubba. Is it you? I can't believe you're alive. I have quit the force due to the agony of your disappearance and I have taken to self harm. How can I get you out of there? Do you hear any noises nearby, such as animals, aircraft or vehicles. Oh Bubba, please come home.
ReplyDeleteYes, I can hear a....KITTEN! I love you my brother.
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ReplyDeleteBubba. On behalf of the Australian people let me wish you a speedy escape from your incarceration as a sex slave. If your captor will allow it, we would like to send you food parcels. I sincerely hope that you are not too mentally scarred. I know there will be physical scarring - mostly out of site - and that this can also be healed in time. Regards, Kevin Rudd. Australian Prime Minister
ReplyDeleteMy dear Bubba. Do you know what food the kitten eats? Do you know what species of jellyfish you are fed? We may be able to trace the supplier. The overall diet does not sound great but the protein from the cum and milk must be sustaining you. Have you lost weight? I am sorry to mention your depraved captor, but how can you know he is Jewish? Hang on. We'll get to you soon.
ReplyDeleteAll I know is the kitten eats better than I do. I'm not sure what species of jellyfish I eat, can anyone post a jellyfish chart?? I have lost a lot of weight but my captor is still heaps fatter than me, especially around the bust. Thank you my brother, I can't wait to see you again.
ReplyDeleteHow exactly did you find this blog, Sergeant Johnson?
ReplyDeleteNull, thank you for your interest in how the Police work. The Sodomy Task Force regularly scans web sites looking for sick and depraved people that prey on the innocent. Blogs are a very valuable source of information as offenders cannot help but tell everyone how clever they are. Many offenders are software engineers with mathematics degrees. We believe this to be the case with Bubba's captor. The dragnet is closing in. Regards, Sgt. Johnson.
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