Offline!

My captor is a junior sysadmin and works exclusively with Microsoft products and QuickBooks so I was very surprised when he said he found some logs on the firewall that proved that I had been accessing sites other than gay porn sites. He updated the firewall rules so I was totally offline, I was so scared and alone. What followed can only be described as rectal destruction (webcam capture below). However, within minutes of getting back into my box I was online again, like I said, he's a junior. My arsehole is in tatters again and looks like the sleeve of a wizard, I think one of his Doc Martens is still in my bowel too. I need sleep....